The girls of Twitter by no means fail to embellish our days with their good ― however succinct ― knowledge. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s nice tweets from ladies, scroll throughout the checklist beneath. Then consult with our Funniest Tweets From Women web page for previous roundups.
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“Why Can’t It Be Bedtime Yet” and different stories from heart age
— Susan Spooky (@susanemoney) September 30, 2018
If simplest ladies’s incandescent rage may just substitute fossil fuels.
— ana marie cox (@anamariecox) October three, 2018
According to my DNA effects I am 100% over this shit
— beth, a ghost👻™ (@bourgeoisalien) October 2, 2018
simply ordered a turkey sandwich and a pot of espresso just like the grizzled previous detective that I’m
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) October 1, 2018
let’s forestall asking KANYE and get started asking….SHOULDYE
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) October 1, 2018
woman were given a turtle out of the street and the lady within the automotive subsequent to me yelled “yes bitch turtle power” and that’s all i wanted from as of late, thanks v a lot
— Kristen Arnett of the Living Dead (@Kristen_Arnett) September 29, 2018
“you spend yo time drinking wine in yo living room” is essentially the most relatable lyric i have heard from a person since great for what dropped.
— king crissle (@crissles) September 29, 2018
Sure, intercourse is superb, however have you ever ever had anyone in fact snicker uproariously at a humorous factor you assert in individual?
— In Nicoled Blood (@Nicole_Cliffe) October three, 2018
One of my best 5 intriguing human inconsistencies is when anyone consents with you however appears like they are mad at you PICK A LANE
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 2, 2018
bears are wooded area pups i don’t need to listen any other phrase about it
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) September 30, 2018
Isn’t it bizarre that you’ve got one hand that may do a wide variety of shit and the opposite one is like “fuck! How do I hold a pencil?”?
— DawnyDarko (@d_danger76) September 30, 2018
When I will be able to’t forestall fascinated with a man I simply believe a witch put a spell on me to love him, and that I am defeating a witch if I transfer center of attention.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahClearly) September 30, 2018
Society: “DO YOU WANT TO BE NICE, OR DO YOU WANT TO WIN?!”
Me: “As I have repeatedly tried to make clear, I would like to be nice, please.”
— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) September 30, 2018
My definition of a bar struggle is the verbal backward and forward of “I love you so much” “no I love YOU so much” “no, no, I love YOU so much” with a random woman within the line for the toilet, on this essay I will be able to
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) October 2, 2018
Man subsequent to me at the subway fell asleep and his head dropped onto my shoulder for a sec and anyway I’ve a husband now
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) October 2, 2018
“you’ll see! you’ll all see!!!!!” screamed the assured optometrist.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) October three, 2018
Coming to phrases with the truth that I’m now not “outdoorsy”
— Mitra Jouhari (@tweetrajouhari) October three, 2018
captain’s log, day 947: the espresso store added sugar to their space made almond milk they usually’re mendacity to me about it
— Jessica Blankenship (@blanketboat) October four, 2018