The girls of Twitter by no means fail to brighten our days with good ― however succinct ― knowledge. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s nice tweets from girls, scroll during the checklist underneath. Then discuss with our Funniest Tweets From Women web page for previous roundups.
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My favourite a part of BBQ is when somebody tries to arrange a bunch game & I name on my witch ancestors to summon the rain
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July four, 2018
The immediately white males who were given mad about fictional characters being rebooted as girls, POC, and LGBT are actually gonna hate the all girls, POC, and LGBT reboot of the USA executive we’re making plans.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 2, 2018
How come no ones written a rap track about Maxine Waters but? There will have to be like 50 via now.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) July 1, 2018
[abt to draw blood, v scared]nurse: inform me the plot of your favourite movie
me: so those twins get separated at beginning & they reunite at camp 11 yrs later–
nurse: all achieved
me: do not u wanna understand how the film ends?
nurse: honey, i have noticed the mother or father lure. the dad is *chef’s kiss*
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) July 2, 2018
*clambers into refrigerator, proper subsequent to the bag of salad leaves* *mists self with ice water*
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) July four, 2018
Her: I want recommendation.
Me: (consuming cookie dough for breakfast) You got here to the suitable particular person.
— Ivsy (@Ivsy01) July 2, 2018
there’s a startling pattern on Instagram of other folks pretending to nonetheless be on holiday once I know for a reality they’ve been again house for days. as your elected authentic I can paintings to finish this
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July three, 2018
Twitter will get a foul rap however let me simply say that 20 years in the past girls didn’t communicate concerning the shared reality of underboob sweat, we internalized it as our personal secret disgrace after we may have been weaponizing it towards our enemies, lengthy are living Boob Sweat Twitter
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) July three, 2018
I feel I’m going down to the gymnasium after which I’m going to drink wine and communicate shit right here.
— roxane homosexual (@rgay) July 1, 2018
Me pretending that my herbal deodorant is maintaining up on this warmth as I lose all keep watch over over what is taking place in my armpit house %.twitter.com/eiNOKN9j1h
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) July 2, 2018
me: im so busy i’ve such a lot to do i’ve to cancel on everybody to get all this paintings achieved there are actually no longer sufficient hours within the day
additionally me: did you watch the 3 phase shane dawson youtube docuseries on tanacon as a result of i watched it 4 fucking occasions and i’ve THOUGHTS
— Scaachi (@Scaachi) July three, 2018
Humidity is only a fancy means of claiming even the air is sweating.
— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) July 2, 2018
Excuse me good friend however it is experience OR die. I pick out the primary one. U can pressure me to the mall however I am not demise for you
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) July five, 2018
BARISTA: whats up, your drink is at the area lately
ME: oh, wow
BARISTA: yup[awkward pause]
ME: may…may you get it down?
— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) July 2, 2018
I extremely suggest the 0 waste minimalism way of life to really feel like you might be tenting out in your house.
— Jenny Yang 👲🏼👲🏼👲🏼 (@jennyyangtv) July three, 2018
Whoever first noticed a espresso bean and concept to themselves “You know what? I’m gonna pulverize the f*ck outta this thing and make it drinkable” used to be a savage genius and I really like them.
— ☕️MacgyveringMom22🍷 (@MacgyveringM22) July 2, 2018
Sorry the man you’re snoozing with received’t name himself your boyfriend however will name himself a content material writer
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) July 2, 2018
Just were given a Bored of the Rings tattoo on my decrease again!
— Mitra Jouhari (@tweetrajouhari) July four, 2018
anyway i spilled a complete cup of espresso in my lap this morning after which i wrote an e-mail to myself, i’m killing it lately
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) July three, 2018